I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
