just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just high enough for therapy.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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