I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Even my vagina gasped.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
