Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
