One girl and one boy is just not enough.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
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