And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
