bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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