so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize