I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
