Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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