I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
