Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
