i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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