The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
