oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize