So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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