Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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