I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
