There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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