i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize