We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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