She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
