I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
