I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
