I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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