I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
