Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
