Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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