why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Randomize
