I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
