More tranny stories later!
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize