I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
