I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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