Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
