Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize