They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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