If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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