Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
