the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
