so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
