think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
why do cheetos always look like penises
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
