She said her name was "party"
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
