The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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