FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
