I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
