i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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