At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
They have beer where we have blood.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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