none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
