How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
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