I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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