I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize