you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
