You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
