if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
