so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
