The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
