great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
