It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
