Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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