Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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