It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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