...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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